When my senior year of high school rolled around, I had run out of courses to take ². Having also played piano from the age of 5 (again, good Asian), they gave me a special provision to attend a second magnet school in the afternoon – one for the arts. In my life as a musician, I had always preferred playing with others to playing by myself, and being in an arts high school with plenty of other students that needed to play with a pianist suited me fantastically well. It wasn’t an easy year by any means ³, but it showed me something that turned out to be very, very important: making music made me feel positive emotions that I had thought were lost to me.

As a senior in the Math and Science Academy, we were required to complete a 100 hour research project or 140 hour mentorship and finish it off with a presentation in front of teachers and peers in a little lecture hall called the Schola. Mine was something about fractals and music – to be honest, I barely remember it at all, and most certainly did not approach 100 hours of work. What I do remember is that somebody asked the standard question “What have you learned from this project and how will you use it in the future?” My response was something to the effect of “I’ve learned that I am not made for research projects, and this has been a waste, because I am going to major in music.” The shock of the adults (including my father, although I wonder now if perhaps he was surprised to find out that I am just like him after all) and titillation of the mostly well-behaved magnet kids was, well, memorable.

So that’s what I did. I auditioned at a few in-state schools for music one crazy and tiring weekend and settled on VCU, who offered me a full-tuition scholarship in return for my very high SAT score, completely ignoring my relatively low GPA. I moved to Richmond at 17 and never moved back home because I knew I would never be able to heal if I did. I actually began as a double major in computer science and music, but dropped computer science after a semester, not having enjoyed it or the ogling of my almost-exclusively male classmates. I enjoyed the shit out of being a music major, forming incredibly strong friendships and meeting (and living with, oops) the man I eventually married ⁴. I played the piano and played it damn well, while absorbing all of the history and theory I could to make the best music possible.

I graduated from VCU a year early ⁵, not having been able to legally drink in college, and set off to Rochester to attend the prestigious Eastman School of Music for my master’s degree in accompanying/chamber music (collaborative piano), having never lost my preference for collaboration. Because I loved what I did and experienced as an undergrad, I knew I was making the right decision, but I didn’t know just how important it was until I was done and realized that I had become a very different person.

Majoring in music taught me things beyond just how to play the piano, and in fact, I’d say that playing the piano might actually have been the minority of my college education. It taught me to be a professional – after all, at Eastman we are expected to be musicians, not just music students. I was in charge of scheduling rehearsals, lessons, and other performances with my school-assigned musical partners (singers and instrumentalists alike). I learned to read people and their intentions – paramount for an accompanist, and very valuable in all other parts of life. I was challenged by my amazing professor, Dr. Jean Barr, to always ask myself why I shouldn’t be able to do something. She read me like a book and pushed me to self-motivate and just get things done. I conquered my habit of always playing loud and aggressively by reaching inside and evaluating why I was doing it. Once I realized that it was the product of years of built up rage and hurt, I began the process of letting it go and learned to express myself in a more controlled and beautiful manner, whether that meant on the piano or off. But, of course, I also learned when loud and aggressive were necessary.

Today, I feel pretty damn fortunate. I have an awesome full-time job as a WordPress developer, regular high-level performance opportunities, an incredible husband, and a functional relationship with most of my family. I’ve gone right back to the computer stuff I never did manage to get rid of completely, but the way I see it is that it gives me the opportunity to choose what I do as a musician instead of shilling for weddings and other things that aren’t really making music while also doing something that constantly challenges me and gives me something to learn. I work from home and take breaks to rehearse or practice when I need to. Even if a problem is driving me crazy or I’m irritated at somebody/something, I still feel satisfied at the end of the day, and I know I would never have gotten to this point if I hadn’t made the choice to pursue something that made me feel again ⁶.

Lego Beach House

After spending a lot of time reminiscing about Legos and building a wishlist on Brickset.com, I finally went ahead and bought a Lego Creator set and built it. I love it and I fear I may have become re-addicted to Legos. Perhaps the Green Grocer is next…? Well, I should probably see if Daddy still has our 20 gallon bucket of Legos at home somewhere first.

There was this kid I HATED in elementary school. He was gross – one of those boys who was always trying to woo girls with his rendition of “On Bended Knee” and saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times. He was also a terrible student, which drove me insane. I mean, I know, not all kids learn at the same rate, but not knowing how to spell or do simple arithmetic is unacceptable in my book.

Anyway, I suspect that his inability to compute 7 + 6 largely had to do with the fact that he almost never did his own homework. We turned in our homework by passing it down the row, where it would be collected at the end by the teacher. As the pages went down the line, he would grab somebody’s sheet and copy it down as his assignment. I sat farther down the row and noticed what he was doing, so I would remove his paper and shove it into my desk before passing the pile on. I know, I should have just told on him, but this felt SO much more satisfying.

Things that shouldn’t surprise you: I always had a horribly messy desk/locker and I don’t like it when people are dishonest.

Hypotrochoid Art Set

You might better remember this as a Spirograph. I had the travel one as a kid and loved the football shaped gear the best.

Travel Spirograph

I’m totally watching some old school sets on eBay now. Score.